Thoughts on a new moon evening


Ritualistic evenings spent alone

reflecting

The band War fills the the background space,

Let nobody get you downnnnn 

lyrics that inform my mental landscape

its a new moon tonight     new beginnings   anxiousness   anticipation.

Ive been feeling more grounded in Oakland

at home

San Francisco was too cold    not right for me

No real way to overcome the alienation I have felt since I was young

when my fresh mind was cluttered with worry and fear

fear that my father would kill my mother

fear that we would lose our house

fear that my peers would know how dysfunctional my home was.

No support or community just shame.

We are forced to carry the violence of a system all on our own

polluting our spirit till we release ourselves to it.

Smoke herb to get through the days and pain of just living.

The alienation takes over here       we are alone.

Then again we are not alone   We all silently share this reality

destruction hunger violence

at the hands of a Patriarchal State

that hides the truth and pits us against each other

That cancerous competition

so characteristic of the engines of Capital that take and take and take

monsters trying to outdo each other

who can conquer the earth

so characteristic of the Patriarchal civilizations that have existed

since time became a tool used by man

later to become super exploited by the chains of Capital

Time a logical extension of this machine intruding upon our life and pysche

Patriarchy and Capitalism      A blissful marriage

sustained for centuries by the supposed ‘brilliance’  of our oppressors

that we are forced to worship in their schools.

We try to get through our days          scrambling to stay positive

struggling with the itch inside that maybe things don’t have to be this way

not knowing that other women men children

are kept up late at night with similar thoughts

frustrations that can practically translate into revolutions

if we stay alert     paying attention to the cracks that erupt across time

joyful openings of history unfolding upon itself

and I watch      feeling the poisonous weight shed from my body

pupils gleaming in the beauty of the new moon light.

 

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